To whom it may concern

11:03pm: Times have changed.
Hmm... My last entry was about starting Judo. I started Judo ages ago. I also quit Judo ages ago. I'm now graduated, working before going to university, and surprised at how easy it was to fall out of the habit of writing.

Ten things that flipped my life around since the last entry:

1: Broke up with Mitchell. Strangely enough, it was after starting Judo that I made my first serious attempts at breaking up with him. Maybe its a confidence thing, but I definately started putting up with less and looking around more.

2: Went to Ireland, England, Scotland and Wales. With all my friends. It was wonderful.

3: Started dating Bryan. Yes, I know. Everyone saw it coming but me. But hes wonderful, and I'm glad I did.

4: Grade 12. Life is beautiful. Angst? What is angst? I am SO happy.

5: Went to grad with Bryan in a dual 40's theme outfit. He, a red pinstriped zoot suit, and I, black and white swing dress with sparkles complete with cigarette holder and updo.

6: Evelyn (aka canadianchickie) died on July 17, three weeks after grad. Car accident. Very shocking, painful, and still hard to wrap my head around it. I wrote most of her eulogy. The most important thing I've ever written so far.

7: Went to the sleeping giant writers festival. Was invited on a scholarship to the internation womens writing guild workshop in New York next June. Lucky, no? All because I read out loud and was under 20.

8: Applied to University of Victoria last night. Writing, fine arts. Journalism. Delightful.

That my only update for now.

PS- I miss canadianchickie.

4:41pm: just checking in. Thing is being stoopid.

9:46pm: I hurt....
Urgh.... pain..... So much.... pain...

Well, yay to me for joing judo last week.
lesson the First (last week): Hey, guys, their new, go easy.

lesson the second (two hours ago): Ok, chuck her.

I jest, it wasn't that hard, really. Just... often. And... consistently. And I wasn't falling properly, so it hurt.

ALSO, *snarl* EVELYN wasn't THERE! SHE got SICK! OOOH! I was sick! I booked off work, upped the tylenol intake, and off I went! To be beaten up by Mike Luczak for an hour! (literally) This is how it went for about 10 minutes:

Sensei- ROTATE!

Mike- Ok Queen, lets go.

Me- Right. I totally just saw you trying to get that guys shirt off. Niiiiice. EEP! Jok-AHH!

Mike- Really? *In one swift unexpected movement I thud to the floor*

(we grapple and I avoid being tossed)

Me- Wanna get my shirt off too? Whoa, I'm Kid-

Mike- Shut up. *another thwack to the floor*

Me- Ow... Urgh... You just want me on my back....KIDDING! SERIOUSLY!

(falls back on himself, pulling me with him, I have about ten seconds air time above his head, and then the mat makes firm contact with my face)

Me- Never mind then... *groan* ...clearly you like girls on top....ACK! I'M KIDDING!

(I flip over his shoulder and hit the ground)

Mike- Do you want to keep making smart remarks?

After that I actually learned things for a bit. w00t.
And then ran. And ran. And ran. For ten minutes. Now that doesn't sound like much, but seriously, how many of you have just RUN, SOLIDLY for ten minutes? It HURTS. Theres this weird strain over my abdomen and it feels like I can't sit up straight.... And this time I couldn't do push ups AT ALL. last time I did five. This time was like, one and a half, and then a feeble collapse. I am so not in shape.... God I hurt. Oh well. I'll be back in two days. Yay.

I'm out.

11:30pm: Why? WHY DO THEY ALWAYS FUCKING DO THIS!

ow says: (9:56:34 PM)
i feel i owe you an explanation of somthing
ow says: (9:57:00 PM)
remmber wen i flipped out on you for somthing  and it caused you to brake up with me

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:57:34 PM)
yeah.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:57:36 PM)
why?

ow says: (9:58:19 PM)
well i kinda had a phobia (well i still do i guess*-)) of breaking up with people, just can';t do it

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:58:44 PM)
lol dont worry about it i never really wanted to go out anyway. it was a releif to not be goign out with you, trust me!

ow says: (9:58:47 PM)
so the only reason i got mad at you was so you wwould brake up with me because i was bored of the relationshipp

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:59:03 PM)
i was just annoyed that you never apologised after
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:59:27 PM)
why do you think i didn't really care? I kept tryin to call and crap because i thought something was actually wrong!

ow says: (9:59:29 PM)
i didn't
ow says: (9:59:36 PM)
hm thats not like me

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:59:37 PM)
I was goign to ask you to come over so we could break up anyway!

ow says: (9:59:43 PM)
i'm usually ove apologetic

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (9:59:55 PM)
no, thats why i stopped talkign to you after

ow says: (10:00:02 PM)
o

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:00:44 PM)
not gonna lie, i figured if i just shut up and went out with you, you;d get over it and thenwe could just be friends again and you'd stop hitting on me but *-)oh well that clearly didn't work.

ow says: (10:01:02 PM)
yah

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:01:49 PM)
is this sudden guilt complex why youve be3en talking to me again?
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:01:54 PM)
r is some new intrigue?
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:01:56 PM)
or*

ow says: (10:02:09 PM)
well not that i look back on it i see the reason i wanted to go out with you so bad was because  i was really jelous of the love between you and stephen
ow says: (10:02:15 PM)
i guess i wanted to feel that
ow says: (10:02:51 PM)
n o i usually talk to you wen you come on
ow says: (10:03:11 PM)
well now**

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:03:30 PM)
i was just really bitter because for over a year i considered you one of my best friends, and after that you just made me feel like it was all because you likded me... i think i felt more betrayed then stephen.... i hated for a long, long time because of that. i figured you wre lyign all the time when we were friends and just waiting until me and steophen broke up...

ow says: (10:04:25 PM)
lol no i kinda gave up on that around the 5 month period
ow says: (10:04:59 PM)
i considered you a best friend to and i just thought you could give me the same love as you gave stephen
ow says: (10:05:16 PM)
thats wat it was really all about wen you think about it
ow says: (10:05:26 PM)
me wanting to be loved like that

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:05:46 PM)
.... well, no offense, but to be blunt, you wanting that made me ruin one of the best friendships i think i ever had.

ow says: (10:06:00 PM)
with stephen?

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:06:07 PM)
... no you.

ow says: (10:06:10 PM)
o'
ow says: (10:06:21 PM)
yah well i made a mistake
ow says: (10:06:31 PM)
but that whole ordeal really taught me alot

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:06:43 PM)
why the sudden heart to heart?

ow says: (10:06:53 PM)
why not

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:07:00 PM)
i dont mean to offend you with my suspicion, but from my experience, you and steohen have played me a lot.

ow says: (10:07:15 PM)
you haven't played us?

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:07:36 PM)
not to my knowledge.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:07:43 PM)
i alsways at least told you everything.

ow says: (10:07:49 PM)
true

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:07:52 PM)
if i have, let me know.

ow says: (10:08:07 PM)
well its hard to remmber
ow says: (10:08:27 PM)
well you don't need to have any suspision
ow says: (10:08:34 PM)
i don't blame you if you do

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:08:42 PM)
thats good to know.

ow says: (10:09:11 PM)
well i apologizer for wat i've done in the past
ow says: (10:09:26 PM)
and thank you because that whole experience taught me alot about relationships

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:09:43 PM)
.... we went out for a week. and saw each other like, three times. and awkwardly, at that.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:09:50 PM)
(im still weird about braces...)

ow says: (10:09:55 PM)
the qwhole thing i mean

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:09:58 PM)
ah.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:10:01 PM)
fair enough.

ow says: (10:10:18 PM)
from the day you and stephen strted making out on my bed till the day i freaked on you

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:10:21 PM)
No offense, but you just made me bitter, and like guy friends meant nothing because all they wanted was sex.

ow says: (10:10:31 PM)
lmao'
ow says: (10:10:51 PM)
thats exactly wat alyssa said

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:11:04 PM)
well, st least you guys seem tog et along.

ow says: (10:11:11 PM)
8 months

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:11:37 PM)
swoot
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:11:53 PM)
and for the record, i was ahnging out with you before i even knew stephen.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:11:57 PM)
hich really made it worse.

ow says: (10:12:09 PM)
i know
ow says: (10:12:26 PM)
it was really intresting couple years wasn't it
ow says: (10:12:36 PM)
i'd ike to write a book

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:12:53 PM)
....that not really the word i'd use, lookign back on it. I'm very glad you rexperiance was enjoyable.

ow says: (10:12:56 PM)
it seems kinda like a story, it would make a good book
ow says: (10:13:17 PM)
it wasn't all enjoyable
ow says: (10:13:25 PM)
the ghoood out wayed the bad

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:14:15 PM)
...It didn't for me. It might have, were it not for going out with you, and for stephen not leaving me along for 6 months afterword, and then the second i forgot about everything dragging back up and throwing it in my face. 
ow says: (10:14:50 PM)
it didn't know it was so bad for you

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:15:09 PM)
funny you should mention this now... i re read all my jounrals and poetry not 2 hours ago...

ow says: (10:15:33 PM)
i did last week
ow says: (10:15:39 PM)
tyou know what i found

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:15:45 PM)
what?
ow says: (10:16:00 PM)
that thing you drew for me the cletic symbol of friendship

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:16:14 PM)
is that what brought this on?

ow says: (10:16:21 PM)
no
ow says: (10:16:27 PM)
you logging on brought this thing

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:16:27 PM)
*Dib

ow says: (10:16:28 PM)
in
ow says: (10:16:29 PM)
on
ow says: (10:16:47 PM)
i dunno shannon

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:16:56 PM)
?
ow says: (10:17:25 PM)
i just started talking to youand it led to this

"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:17:48 PM)
hm. well, in a way im glad it did.... i've been waiting for you to apologise for a long time...
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:18:09 PM)
and nits good to tell you how pisse doff i was that i lost you as a friend
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:18:25 PM)
and how bitter and cycical i was for months.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:18:30 PM)
cynical*
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:19:10 PM)
why are you stirring this all up now? whenever i start to make peace with something in my head, to move on, and look back on things favorable, like a good experience, one of you always comes and stirs it up.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:19:44 PM)
makes me remember everything, sparks this whole nostaligic conversation that going to make me pensive all week.
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:20:12 PM)
i had just barely got used to talking to you again...
"If you wish to lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd." says: (10:20:52 PM)
sry, im just... getting so tired of all of this... i really hate this im sorry


ARGH! So, that was Taylor. yay.
Not. Weird. i just finished reading all my journals and crap.
Like i need this now.
Argh.

3:48pm: Whatever happened to common necessity?
So. I saw just about one of the most heartbraking things I've seen all year so far. Today, on this lovely, windy, carefree day when I did Mum's shopping for her.

Just outside the Framing Place, by Blockbuster, there was a kid and his dog. I suppose I shouldn't say kid, because he was at least eighteen, in clothes too loose for him, and his dog was the thinnest scroungiest little mongrel I've ever seen. It was almost skin and bones. The Guy had a large sign beside him, and an expression on his face which clearly expressed that he was at the end of his rope. The sign said "Willing to Work" underlined, and underneath that, in smaller letters, "Or please help with spare change."
So I went and dropped some change in his hat, and the gaunt face smiled brightly at me, and said "Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving." The dog barked, as well.

Then I noticed, on the way back, the large "NOW HIRING!" sign on Blockbusters windows. Less than ten feet away from the guy and his dog.

How interesting. Any spoiled rich kid with a resume can get a part time job, (or anyone, for that matter. That was bitter, I apologise), and here's this scene on the sidewalk, with a dog that looks like its starving and a master to match, that puts up a bloody sign saying "willing to work" because theres no alternative anymore, and whose only income comes out of his cap. He didn't even look like he had anywhere to live. He may not have finished high school, he may not have any experience doing anything. But bloody hell, how come its so hard to get hired places nowadays? Even MacDonalds has standards. How hard is it to teach someone to flip hamburgers, so long as they're willing to?

It just pisses me off that eveyone enjoying stuffing themselves with turkey this weekend and then going off to sleep in a warm bed will be griping about the hours they have to work, and on Thanksgiving, no less, and this kid might be out there somewhere with his dog, wishing he had hours to bitch about, and maybe wondering where his next meal might come from. Seriously, there were people walking deliberatly AROUND this kid on the sidewalk, avoiding him, not making eye contact. I dunno, but why won't one person maybe think about it for a minute, maybe go "Hmm. Maybe that kid out there needs a job more than that gr. 10 kid who wanted an interview. He looks like he'd be able to pour coffe and count change. Maybe I'll see if he's interested." But no. That just.... doesn't happen anymore. A few people blindly dropped coins in. A few even smiled, acknowledged him (I was one of them). But most avoided him like the plague. I don't know why. He even looked harmless. And it was genuine "Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving." I got from him. He could probobly be doing anything, if someone bothered to give him the opourtunity.

But no. Maybe something happened. maybe hes homeless, or a dropout, or maybe none of these things. But he's still there, on the sidewalk, with his threadbare dog and a sign saying "WILLING TO WORK -or please help with spare change."

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

8:40am: No sleep tonight
Well, Hayley just got back a few hours ago. yay. And the household is asleep, exept for myself. I was tossing and turning from about midnight on, so I finally came downstairs, logged on, and lo and behold, talked to joe for a while, and also to liam for almost three hours now, and we're still talking. It's 4:42 am right now, and I woke up approximately 17 hrs ago, still going. Oh well. Liam woke up approximately 32 hours ago, and Joe approximately never sleeps, so I guess it all works out. God Im so glad Hayleys back. It makes me unbeleivably happy.
As to why I can't sleep, I don't know. I kept.... tossing and turning and thinking about things and remembering things, and it was unpleasent and too hot and itchy. So I got up, and i've been down here ever since, talking to liam. Its now 4:50 am. It'll be light out soon. Not gonna sleep now, no point. Oh well. I'll be tired tonight, anyway. That a plus. It might help me get back on track. Considering all I'm doing is talking to liam and now doing an update, for the first time in months. Bloody hell, ive been down here for hours, I cant beleive mom or dad hadn't got up to pee. My back hurts. I Have no idea what to write. I am so... I dunno. I'll go play more zelda when im done with liam.

7:23pm: Filler.
() Smoked a cigarette

() Quit smoking

() Drank so much you threw up

() crashed a friend's car

() Stolen a car

(x) Been in love

(x) Been dumped

() Shoplifted

() Been laid off/fired

(x) Quit your job

(x ) Been in a fist fight

(x) Snuck out of your parent's house

(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back

() Been arrested

() Gone on a blind date
(x ) Lied to a friend

(x) Skipped school

() Seen someone die

(x) Been to Canada

() Been to Mexico


() Been on a plane

() Been lost

() Gone to Washington, DC

() Swam in the ocean

(x) Felt like dying

(x) Cried yourself to sleep (well, cried myself to feeling better, then slept)

(x)Played hide and go seek

() Recently colored with crayons

(x) Sang Karaoke

(x) Paid for a meal with only coins

(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't

(x) Made prank phone calls

(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose(baloney, actually)

(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(x) Danced in the rain

() Written a letter to Santa Claus

(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe(love it)

() Watched the sun rise with someone you care about 

(x) Blown bubbles

(x) Made a bonfire on the beach

() Crashed a party 

(x) Ice-skating

Any nicknames? Shanners, pet

Mother's name? Celeste
What is your favourite non-alcoholic drink? Chocolate milk

what is your favorite Alcoholic drink: coolers. ice wine.

Tattoos? not yet.

Body piercing? my ears, even though I cant wear earings.


Birthplace:I think mckellar... maybe...

Favorite vacation spot? Sibili. or shebandewan.

Ever been to Africa? not yet.

Ever steal any traffic signs? Oh I wish.
Ever been in a car accident? Yes.

Salad dressing? Ceasar.
Favorite pie? pumpkin

Favorite number? 17. Don't ask why.

All-Time Favorite movie? Don't ask, couldn't pick one.

Favorite holiday? Christmas

Favorite food? Anything ethnic. Sushi, east indian, etc.

Favorite day of the week? Thursday.

Favorite soap? Green tea, goatsmilk.
Favorite TV show? Dont think i watch enough to care. Maybe family guy.

Toothpaste?Anything whitening.


Favorite smell? Patchouli. or Mitchell.

What do you do to relax? ....(censored)

How do you see yourself in 10 years? Married and pregnant.

What do you enjoy receiving? (censored)

7:49pm: the Romantic
Test finished!
you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR.

"I am unique"

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!
What I Like About Being a Four
• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
• my ability to establish warm connections with people
• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
• being unique and being seen as unique by others
• having aesthetic sensibilities
• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me
What's Hard About Being a Four
• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
• feeling guilty when I disappoint people
• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
• expecting too much from myself and life
• fearing being abandoned
• obsessing over resentments
• longing for what I don't have
Fours as Children Often
• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
• are very sensitive
• feel that they don't fit in
• believe they are missing something that other people have
• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Fours as Parents
• help their children become who they really are
• support their children's creativity and originality
• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed


Wow. Thats sorta freakishly accurate. Nice.

Yay! I get to play house for a whole semester and carry around one of those little squealy dolls! Yay!

3:07am: Contemplating
It's weird, not knowing how to feel about something. I mean usually, even if you don't know why, you'll get a feeling from somethign right away. But when you actually aren't sure of that feeling, its really weird.

Especially when its not a big deal. That makes it worse, because then you just feel petty.

It's like my mom with my dad. She's growing her hair out again for him. She hates it long. She loves her short hair, and she lovs it silver, the way it naturally is. She also dyes it for him. Her reasoning, its a good one, is that he asks so little of her, and finds nothing wrong with her, then why be picky about this one little issue? So she dyes it for him.

But what if its really dad who's being picky? I mena, if he finds so little fault with her and shes willing to do this for him, why bother being picky about it, and make her happy?
The thing is, it's such a small issue, theres no real answer on who's being what.

So what if some small thing suddenly sets you off with something. Maybe even just a small thing like a shirt they like or a way they wear their hair. And it sets you off for some reason, heavily. And your trying not to look to closely at them so you won't mention it, all the way saying to yourself over and over "It's only a (whatever), it's only a (whatever), It's no big deal, who cares."
But you still feel horrible about it bothering you. Because nothing, nothing whatsoever about that person has eveyr bothered you before, nothing has ever set you off, you've never had any problem with anything they choose to do.
And they resent this sudden issue, finding it stupid and small (which, frankly, it really is. only you can't make yourself forget it)

So you clam it. Because they're right. Its a small, pointless issue. Why should it matter? But then if it doesn't matter why do they care about it so much, if its having this effect on you?

But then even thinking that you feel bad because an issue that small shouldn't matter, and physical things aren't whats important, and you shouldn't be focusing on that.

But then if its so unimportant, why can't they just realize you've never had any problem with anything before and just try to avoid that particular thing just for you?

But then you feel bad because thats really selfish. Even thought you know its just going to keep grating and grating on you to the point where you don't even really want to look at them because of it. And then you really feel horrible, because you know its such a small pointless issue.

But if it's so small and pointless, why does it bother me so much?!

BlArGh!

2:35am:

You Are 80% Weird

You're more than quirky, you're downright strange. But you're also strangely compelling, like a cult leader.

*howling*

E.T.B!!! (Mitch, you know what that stands for!)

7:20pm: Theftage from Steph

[] I am shorter than 5'4.
[] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses/contacts.
[] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and
scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[] I have more than 2 piercing.
[] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.

Embarrassment

[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my pants rip/drop/pulled down in public.

Health

[] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[] I've gotten stitches.
[] I've broken a bone.
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[] I've been to Mexico.
[] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[] I've been to Japan.
[] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[] I've been to Europe.
[] I've been to Africa.


Experiences

[] I've gotten lost in my city
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[] I've been to a casino.
[] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[x] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I've crashed a car.
[] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.


Relationships

[] I'm single.
[x] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I've gone on a blind date.
[] I miss someone right now.
[] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x] I've cheated in a relationship.
[] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[] I've told someone I didn't like/love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[] I miss someone who was once close to me.
[x] I've been hurt by someone I trusted.


Sexuality

[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[x] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I wanna hook up with somebody.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger.



Honesty/Crime

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[] I've run a red light.
[] I've been suspended from school.
[] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[] I've been arrested.
[] I've shoplifted

Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[] I regularly drink.
[x] I've partyed before.
[x] I've smoked weed.
[] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[x] I've eaten shrooms.
[] I've popped E.
[] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[] I've done hard drugs.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[] I can't swallow pills that well.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[] I have been diagnosed with depression
[] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[] I take anti-depressants.
[] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying.
[x] My answers are totally honest.

w00t. Random and fun.

That is all.

9:45pm:

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

8:57pm: 1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLants?:    Green... I would hope.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READINg?: Lasher. Annn Rice.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?: SCABBLE!! I am so cool.
5. YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINE?: Cosmo. British cosmo.
6. YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?: Patchouli.
 7. Worst Smell?: Gasoline. And bad cologne.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?: Did My alarm go yet-?
9. FAVORITE COLOR?  purple. And green. And black. And silver.
10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?  I dunno. I like them all.
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?: One or two.
12. Future (or first) CHILD'S NAME? Girl- Mona Pandora Boy- William Sebastian
   
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?: Food and water, or I'd die. Ha! I'm not that literal. My sister and my friends.
14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?: Chocolate!! *orgasm*
15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?: Yes! Bit in an environment friendly eco-safe car.
16. FAVORITE TV SHOW?: I don't really watch TV.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: At the moment I am, yes.
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?   cool
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?   dont have one yet
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON (LIVING OR DECEASED): Jesus 
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? coolers
22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN &YOUR BIRTHDAY?  Gemini, June 12.
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  Of course. I heart veggies. With cheese. Mm.
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Psyichiatrist
25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?: Red.
26. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?: Half full.
27. FAVORITE MOVIE?: I love too many. Musicals.
28. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?: I am a great coinnaseur of the hunt and peck.
29. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED: Probobly some journals, some homework, mouse poop and most assuredly some nuclear dust bunnies.
30. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?: I don't really watch sports.
31. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Not being taken seriously.
32 SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?: Shes... Nice to some people. 
33. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD?  Ketchip
34. HAMBURGERS OR HOT-DOGS? hamburgers   
35. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOFT DRINK?: Jones root beer.
36. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?: sacred Heart school.
37. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER NOW?: A picture of my dog sleeping
 38. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Mitch. He steals all my quizzes.
39. PERSON WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?: Hayley, she really doesn't do quizzes all that much.

10:39pm:

10:31pm: Down.
Alrighty then. My friday just got shot.

Yay movie night by myself.

Bloody hell. I just had a shower and did my nails and everything. This sucks.

10:48pm:

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

wow. If that isn't accurate...

1:50am: Using band/singer names, spell out your name

S- Sting

H- ...I Don't know...

A- ACDC

N- Nine Inch Nails

N- Nirvana

O- Oasis

N- Nelly Firtado (look, ok, I REALLY like ONE of her songs!!)


2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Erm... Sort of.

3) What song makes you cry?  Come to Me, from les Miserables

4) What song makes you happy?  Book of Days, Enya.

5) What do you like to listen to before bed? Enya. Or LotD.
a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5'5
HAIR COLOR: Red (natural brown)
SKIN COLOR: Very fair
EYE COLOR: Green
PIERCINGS: none
TATTOOS: none yet

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: Slightly faded blue flared jeans.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO? :  Out Tonight- Rent
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?:  Milk.

WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: Cold. It's night time. And windy.
HOW ARE YOU?  Can't complain.
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Not yet.

HAVE A BAD HABIT?:  A few.

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Very well.

LIKE TO DRIVE?: Love to, can't legally yet, but...

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: The Sex and the City
CONDITIONER: Vive. Or herbal essence.
BOOK: Couldn't pick one.
MAGAZINE: Readers digest. Or Cosmo.
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Tea. Or milk.
ALCOHOLIC DRINK:  Coolers, and Ice wine.

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND:  Hang out with people, do homework, play fable, read.
BAND or GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: Enya, RHCP, Queen, Sting, David Bowie, Scooter,NIN, Mettalica, Nirvana, Oasis, OLP, SoaD, TSO, U2, many more...

h a v e y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: Technically, yes. Does jaywalking count?

RAN AWAY FROM HOME:  No. But I pretended to when Sarah was babysitting me to see her run screaming outside.
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Yeah. I hung out with davin and Sean on the patio.
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: yes
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Hahaha. Just ask Colins Mom.

EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY:  no... But secretly I've always wanted to.
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE:  No.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Nope.
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yes!!
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes.

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB:  Yes. Concession Drone. (I am SIZZLOR!!!!!)
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: LotD
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Green
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?:  I dunno. I just am.

WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?:  Friends. Significant other.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: I don't but, i burn. Maybe Pink Floyd the wall movie.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Brad, Bryan, Steph, Claire, many others.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: many things.
w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?:   A while ago.

YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?:  On christmas.
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today

THING YOU PURCHASED: Mitchs presents.

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Umm... Can't remember.

MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Tristan and Isolde.

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
ABORTION:  I'm pro-choice.
TEENAGE SMOKING:  I don't think ANYONE should. It so bad for you.

SPICE GIRLS: I Liked POSH!

DREAMS:  Mine are very vivid. I like them.

9:05pm: Math; Not.
At lisa's. Supposed to be doing math, but not. Oh well. Talked to Richard, are going sledding on wednesday. Hurray. Finally, eh Bryan?

Well, dont want to take up space, and still need to teach trig.

That is all.

3:09am: MADNESS!!!
AUGH!

I am tired, bloodshot, jacked up on caffeine and have spent the last hour and a half crying into my science textbook.
Did I mention I need to get a 66% on the exam to pass the course? Yeah...
Ok, so ecology and weather. I can ace those, easily. Thusly, they are the two units to which my teacher gives the least credit, and the least time. AUGH!
And the two largest, most important mark areas.... Physics and chemistry.

Hurrah! The two in which I have the least possible comprehension! Yay!

slope-acceleration-time-distance-balancing-hiheelittlebettyboocannotflynenamygalsipschlorineandkillscats-bloodyalkalimetals-what-the-heck-does-alkali-mean-anyway-graphs-vectors-eight-different-formulas-and-the-whole-periodic-table-to-memorise-AUGH-!!!!!

Did I mention my brain jumped ship a few hours ago, leaving me to my calculator-enhanced doom?

I have been drowning myself in a sea of old tests with bad marks, reviews I can't remember a thing for, and am squeamishly awaiting a nineteen page long exam tommorrow. I, personally, am betting about two thirds of it to be physics and chemistry. The remaining third will be split between ecology and weather.

To pass, I need to get two thirds of the marks on this exam. 66%. Two thirds of the marks.

(to be sung to the tune of "I am so smart, S-M-R-T")
"I am so screwed.
I am so screwed.
This really sucks
This really sucks."

Did I mention that rather than cram equations into my brain, I am doing a frantic panicked livejournal update instead? You've probobly caught on to that by now...

*off to cry into my textbook and wallow over my pre-emptive failure*

2:42am: Hahaha. Woot for chocolate sauce body shots. (grin)

10:35pm: <td align="center">You should make love to hard rock



You like it fast and hard, just like your music. Throw on the Alexisonfire and get an instant rhythm for your sexual experience.

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com</td>

Sweet! C'mon Mitch, lets go!

Must go to work now. grr.

2:09am:

Your Social Dysfunction: Happy You're a happy person - you have a good amount of self-esteem, and are socially healthy. While this isn't a social dysfunction per se, you're definitely not normal. Consider yourself lucky: you walk that fine line between 'normal' and being outright narcissistic. You're rare - which is something else to be happy about.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.

HA!!!!! I love it....

9:09pm: Blah
Ok... I was originally planning on doing a whole wack of blogs and posting them, but I loathed all my results and they were dead wrong. So I decided to scrap that idea.

I really, really really want to go thrift shopping tonight. I think I'll go clean out my room and find stuff to throw out so I can.


See ya.

3:43am:

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about... One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though You have style, but for you, style is effortless

Yay.

3:43am: STOLEN!!
[Marital Status] Taken
[Shoe size] Not a clue.
[Parents still together] Yes.
[Siblings] 3, Hayley, Sarah, and Liam.
[Pets]My Dog, Shealagh, and My Bird, Lady MacBeth
FAVORITES
[Color] Black/Purple/green/silver
[Number] 17
[Animal] Any sort of cat.
[Drinks] tea
[Soda] cranberry stuff
[Book] Hah. Couldn't pic one.
[Flower] Roses.
DO YOU
[Color your hair?] Yes. Purple, red, blue, black, anything. Maybe green next.
[Twirl your hair?] Nope. Not long enough *yet. I AM trying*
[Have tattoos?] Not yet.
[Have Piercings?] Technically yes, but I can't wear earings. I'd like to get my belly done.
[Cheat on tests/homework?] No.
[Drink/Smoke?] Not cigarettes, and I drink occasionally, with family and moderatly.
[Like roller coasters?] Yes.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] I plan on travveling everywhere.
[Want more piercings?] Belly button.
[Like cleaning?] Urgh. Love cooking. hate cleaning *Hello, future maid.*
[Write in cursive or print?] Print, when I'm not typing.
[Own a web cam?]Not yet.
[Know how to drive?] Start drivers ed in a few months.
[Own a cell phone?] No.
[Ever get off the damn computer?] Occasionally.
HAVE YOU EVER
[Been in a fist fight?] My fair share, yes.
[Considered a life of crime?]No. I'm too damn nice.
[Considered being a hooker?] ....Does dancing suggestivly in the shower count?
[Lied to someone?] Yes.
[Been in love?] Yes. AM.
[Made out with JUST a friend?] Yes.... It's never turned out well.... I wouldn't do it again in ahurry...
[Been in lust?] Usually both.
[Used someone] Not intentionally.
[Been used?] ...The more I reflect on it, the more I'm beginning to think so.
[Been cheated on?] Yes
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] I try not to, unless its a danger situation.
[Stolen anything?] Only freezies from work.
[Held a gun] Never. I don't think I want to, either.
CURRENTS
[Current clothing] ....An oversized Nirvana shirt and lacy blue panties. *Ecclectic much?!*
[Current mood] sleepy.
[Current taste] Chlorine and toddler urine. Urgh. Public pools..
[What you currently smell like] Chlorine and toddler urine.
[Current hair] Short, sticky-uppy, absolutly bloody impossible to do anything with and usually dyed erratically.
[Current thing I ought to be doing] Sleeping.
[Current cd in stereo] Marilyn Manson, Golden Age of Grotesque
[Last book you read] Angels and Demons.
[Last movie you saw] The Bird Cage.
[Last thing you ate] ....*groan* Way, way too much...
[Last person you talked to on the phone] Evelyn
[Do drugs?]I've smoked up on occasion. Not gonna lie.
[Believe there is life on other planets?] Absolutly.
Remember your first love?] Of course.
[Still love him/her?] *lol* Yes, actually.
[Read the newspaper?] Yes.
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] ...Quite a few...
[Believe in miracles?] Umm, Miracles like virgin births and rising from the dead, no. Miracles like frantic mothers lifting fallen trees off of their trapped children, yes.
[Do well in school?] Yes, exept math. And now science, bastard Fanti..
[Wear hats] Yes! I am a Hat-feind!
[Hate yourself?] Lord no. I love Me...
[Have an obsession?] Musicals, probobly.
[Collect anything?] Journals. Books.
[Have a best friend?] Couldn't choose. Sarah, Bryan, Evelyn, Claire, Brad... Can't pick.
[Close friends?] All of them are.
[Like your handwriting?] No. Strangely enough, though, I have bloody good caligraphy.
[Care about looks] Only mine.
LOVE LIFE
[First crush] Sheldon Verne. Grade one.
[First kiss] Stephen.
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] Yes.
[Do you believe in "the one?"] No. There are a million possibilities.
[Are you a tease?] ...Unfortunatly, I can be. Inadvertantly.
[Too shy to make the first move?] Usually. But sometimes I find a reservoir of desire.
ARE YOU A
[Daydreamer] Absolutly.
[Bitch/Asshole] No. Unless you REALLY deserve it. Or your being mean to my friends.
[Sarcastic] far too much.
[Angel] I'm a do=gooder, what can I say?
[Devil] In bed. *lol*
[Shy] Suprisingly, yes. But I mask it well.
[Talkative] Very.

Righto. That was fun.
Looking forward to tommorow. *bounce, bounce*

Urgh so itchy.
I hate swimming.

No, I love it. But I hate public pools.
Anywho, goodnight.